Learning to Trust

Okay, so I begin this fully acknowledging that I have been mulling this passage (Hebrews 6: 13-20) over for five months now and still don’t understand the depth of its message. It is one of those things where you know that there is more to it…but you don’t know quite what that is. I guess that is part of the beauty of scripture, it has a depth that lures us in and keeps us coming back for more. If we seek the voice of God with humility and a hunger for truth, he will reveal himself to us, but not always in full and not always at a pace we understand. I think He delights in revealing His world-rocking truths to us, sometimes slowly, allowing us to relish the sweet and satisfying flavor. In all honesty I have been struggling to hear from God lately, especially where Africa is concerned. However, I was reminded of this passage a few days ago and decided it was time to take a closer look. I had first begun to meditate on this passage during my last trip to Uganda this January; it was somewhat of a life-line during such a tumultuous time.

So basically this passage talks about how there is no one more trustworthy than God and nothing more sure than his word. Then it goes on to talk about how Abraham obtained the promise from God because he believed God and waited PATIENTLY for the fruition of that promise. Waiting on someone we can’t see and can’t always hear is difficult, that is why scriptures like these keep me grounded. From there the passage goes on to speak of the unchangeableness of God’s purpose and character and how it is impossible for Him to lie. A simple truth, but a comfort to be reminded of—I look at that scripture and I think, yeah, there is someone I can trust.

Now…are you ready for the kicker? After imploring us to take hold of the hope set before us, the scripture says, “this hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast and one which enters within the veil.” I love that. We can have hope in the unchangeableness of God’s purpose and character—and it is that hope that enters within the veil by the sacrificial love of Christ. If we hope in God and trust him with our everything, believing he is who he says he is and waiting patiently on him, by Christ’s love we can enter within the veil, into the Holy of holies and experience true intimacy with God. Pure beauty, that’s what that is.

Although God’s heart breaks for the broken-hearted, He is never overwhelmed by the injustice of our human woundedness. He offers light to those who dwell in darkness, he offers life to those who are dying on the inside, and he offers love in unthinkable abundance.

We must Trust. We must Wait. We must choose Hope.

The Lies and the Sword

How long must I push through
And fight this constant strain?
I want to know what is true,
But I can’t see through this pain.
Why do I absorb and believe
The deceit whispered in my ear?
The Father of Lies never seeks to relieve
He taunts. he torments. he tries to seep in fear.
God, oh God, with Your Word, my heart penetrate.
Show me the scriptures, teach me to love and heal.
Free me from these lies that hold me down and suffocate.
I am your child? You chose me? Can it be, is it real?
The Truth before me, I will stand and fight these lies with The Sword
I cling to your Word, only then will my spirit be free to truly call you Lord।

A Heavy Heart Made Light

Life might be full of tragedy and heartache, but…

we must never forget to laugh.

If we trust God with our whole hearts,
he will always walk us through our sorrow and shower us with love, peace, and joy।

Think deeply, feel deeply, and laugh often.

Oh, and by the way, this is Dan he is four and lives at Living Hope.
I love this kid (he is the one who stuck the sticker on my forehead and I totally forgot it was there when I took the picture).

The Lifter of Our Hearts

And everyone who thus hopes in him purifies himself as he is pure -1 John 3:3

This scripture is one of three that have brought me much comfort and perspective since I have been back home and trying to process through my experience in Uganda। I am not exactly sure why I have clung to this scripture like a lifeline the past couple of weeks, but there is certainly a great Truth to behold tucked within these words। Jesus Christ is my sure and steadfast hope, he never disappoints and his character is never changing. I think that after seeing an epidemic of hopelessness and corruption, this verse reminds me that we can be more than conquers, we just need to place our hope in him. He is the remedy. Within this scripture is the answer, the remedy to both corruption and hopelessness: hope in him, for he is the definition of purity. When everything else in life is dark and ugly, when chaos surrounds and filth clings…there is hope. By placing our hope completely in him, we too are made pure, we too can find freedom from the miry pit of hopelessness, we too can be made whole and clean.
The enemy would like nothing more than to see backs bent under the weight of oppression and heads hung low in defeat, but we have a choice…we must choose hope.
Can you feel Christ’s gentle hand lifting your face toward heaven?

Passion from a Broken Heart

Before I left for this last trip I knew it would be challenging। Several known factors ensured me that this was going to be an undoubtedly intense trip, but I had no idea it was going to be as difficult as it was. I fell in love with Uganda on my first trip. That trip was a glorious, amazing experience; it was difficult to be sure, but overall very positive. On this last trip…my heart was broken…and I will never be the same. I saw things and felt things that I will not soon forget. In fact, I can’t stop thinking about it. The events of this last trip play through my mind continuously. Faces with vacant eyes flood my mind as I stare into my oatmeal at breakfast, stories of what should have never been ring in my ears as I sit in class. I am haunted by the memory of a deafening silence in a place where laughter once echoed. Even in sleep I cannot escape my own thoughts—they are in my dreams, they are in my heart.

But…as only God can do…I am compelled with a greater intensity than ever before to go back—to continue loving, to continue serving, to continue to have my heart broken by the things that break the heart of God. As I have said so many times before, Hope is born in the midst of the storm. In the deepest, darkest shadows where it seems evil has won, God Is. Sometimes he stirs in hearts like a gentle breeze sweeping through the tree tops, and sometimes God reveals himself in a roaring thunder as a protective Father often does. I am not sure how God is working in the little corner of the world that broke my heart, but one thing I know for sure, God is never overwhelmed by the evil in the world. Oh, His heart breaks over every painful experience and loss of hope much more than mine or yours ever could, but I am comforted to know that God is not struggling to defeat the enemy. I may be struggling in my service to God and question whether I have done any good or not, I may have moments of feeling defeated and wonder if there really is reason to hope; but God is never overwhelmed, he has already defeated the enemy. Hope has come in the flesh and blood. The war is over. I am simply called to liberate the camps. Satan is holding precious souls captive and he is not going to hand them over easily. Yes, the war is over, we won. But there are still battles to be fought. Many tears and much blood will be shed. I can’t dismiss what I have seen—the stakes are too high.

Is there a greater tragedy than prisoners of war never being liberated, the enslaved never seeing the light, captives never feeling the warmth of hope?
There is Hope—I have seen it and I must fight this battle by loving others just as Christ has loved me. I am “gloriously ruined.”

Anchor for the Soul

Thank you all so much for being in prayer for me, the team, and the ministry. We arrived safely back home yesterday. This trip was a challenging battle from beginning to end. It was amazing to see God work in miraculous ways. I am always blown away at how God can bring hope out of storms and darkness. He really is the God of impossibilities and I am convinced more than ever of his faithfulness, his goodness, and his unchanging character. He alone provides a sure and steadfast anchor for the soul. I will be writing more in the coming days, but for now, I must go get caught up on some much needed sleep.
Thanks again, your prayers are of exceeding eternal value.

Love, Light, and Hope

My dear family and friends, the team and I have arrived safely in Uganda। We were blessed with an unexpected stay in a hotel during our long layover in Dubai (which means another stamp in my passport!)। So now we are well rested and hopefully will be able to have the energy for the New Year’s Eve overnight celebration at the Children’s Home tonight। Several of the local churches are gathering together to praise the Father for how he has been at work this past year and to greet the New Year worshiping his Holy name and dedicating the coming year to Him। I can hardly wait to see the kids. It is about all I can do to wait patiently for our time to go to the Home tonight. I am aching to see all those precious faces again. In the mean time we have had a great time of devotions with the hotel staff (one of my favourite things about coming to Jinja, Uganda) and we will spend the rest of the morning preparing the lessons and activities that God would have us do with the kids at the home. For those of you who have partnered with this mission in prayer; our team would appreciate prayer as we prepare our lessons to do with the kids. God has laid it upon my heart to speak Truth to the children, for they live in such darkness and the Truth of God’s word brings light and hope. Pray that we are sensitive to the leading of the Holy Sprit that we may know the scriptures and lessons and stories that would touch their hearts the most and advance God’s Kingdom. Also be in prayer that each of the team members would encounter God in a real and dynamic way so that we each have a renewed passion to share the love of Christ and make an impact on other’s lives for eternity as we seek to worship our King and Saviour.

The Beginning of Something Epic

I can hardly believe the time has come. I leave for the return journey to Uganda tomorrow. I am busy packing and preparing some surprises for the children at the Home tonight, but I wanted to pause for a moment and reflect on all that God is doing. I definitely feel the weight of the task that the Lord has called me to and I know it is going to require nothing less than complete trust, dependence, and obedience on my part. But I think I needed to pause and be reminded that I am not in this alone. Based on my experience form my last trip, I am very aware of the spiritual battle that is already going on currently and that awaits me on the field, and it is such a comfort to know that I have people dedicated to supporting me in prayer back home. Please, do not under estimate the power of your prayers; I truly believe that you who are praying for this team and this ministry are just as critical to the mission before us as the people who are actually flying on a plane to Uganda tomorrow. God has placed a passion deep inside my heart to bring light, and love, and hope to the children of Living Hope Children’s Home, but in order for that to happen battles must be fought.

I can’t wait to share with you all the amazing things that God does within the team and the Children’s Home. Thank you for your support, it has blown me away and touched me deeply. I am thrilled to be serving our mighty God right along with you in all of this. I pray that you are blessed by your investment in this ministry just as you have blessed the lives of so many. Lets make a difference for His Kingdom—a difference that last for all eternity.

The Count Down is On

The count down is on. I leave in less than a month’s time. I have butterflies in my stomach like a girl in love. Oh, how I am looking forward to being back in the country of Uganda. I know it will be challenging and demanding and difficult and...wonderful.

I am currently praying about what direction God is leading the people at the Children’s Home in regards to their spiritual development and growth. I am trying to contribute to some type of Bible study/discipleship program to start with the kids and staff at the Home while we are there. I have ideas as to what I would like this to look like, but more than anything I want it to be in accordance with the direction God is currently moving within the lives and hearts of the individuals within the Home. After all, God knows exactly what message and what scriptures are going to impact them the most right now and ultimately bring about great things in His Kingdom. For those of you who have personally invested in this ministry and are partnering with me in the work that God is doing in Uganda, I would be honored if you would join with me as we together bow before the King in his glorious throne room and seek his heart and will for the people of Living Hope Children’s Home and the people of Uganda. As always, your support means more than I can adequately express.

Going Home

I am thrilled beyond measure to be returning to Uganda next month. In a strange way, it feels like going home. I was just sitting at my desk going through pictures from my last trip to Uganda and my heart aches to be back there. There are so many things I love about it.

The beauty of the land,

the thunder rolling in the night,

the African coffee...

but more than anything I love the people.

I can’t wait to wrap my arms around those children
and tell them how much they are loved.

It is my deep desire and prayer that God would use me to accomplish great things for His Kingdom and bring Him much glory. I am humbled that God would choose me for such a wonderful and difficult task. I am honored that the King of my heart would desire to use me as his hands and feet to bring the light of Christ into such darkness.

Without a doubt, the last trip to Uganda was way more difficult and way more wonderful than I had imagined. I can’t wait to see what God has in store. I want to be ready for anything He calls me to. I don’t want fear or self-doubt to hold me back from being apart of Kingdom work. I hope that everything I do would be an act of worship to my God. For His love for me is so deep and so passionate, I want more than anything to love Him back with everything I have. I want His love to flow freely from me and touch the lives of others.

The Adventure Continues

Mukama Yabazebwea!...translation: Praise God!

It's official...I am going back to Uganda this December! Praise God! The process it took to get to this place was intense, but I have been so extremely blessed. Thank you to all who are supporting me and have invested in this minstry. I am humbled by your overwhelming response. Thank you for being obediant to the leading of the Lord. No doubt, this is going to be an adventure. I am so excited to share with you in the work of the Kingdom. God is doing great things.

Ronald

I would like to introduce you to a very special person. This is Ronald. He has become like my Ugandan little brother. He is an amazing ten year old boy with a huge heart and tons of energy. When I first met him, he was a very aggressive child and would occasionally be too rough with the other children when he got upset. He was even at times too rough with me, but recognizing that he does not have the guidance and love of parents to show him how to behave and make him feel secure, I became very intentional in my interactions with him. Over the course of three weeks, I saw a significant change in his behavior. The two of us formed a special bond during that time, and I began to realize what a treasure Ronald is. He is funny, kindhearted, full of energy, and has the sweetest singing voice. Ronald has the strength to one day be a man of God and accomplish great things for the Kingdom. He, like the rest of us, simply needs the guidance of a trusted adult and the security of knowing that he is loved.

Trust

In all my troubles I will trust in the Lord,
He is my Rock. His faithfulness is steadfast.
His love washes over me,
It fills me,
And it flows from me.
I will praise the name of My Father in Heaven,
For He is the perfect Father,
Full of grace and Truth
I will worship His name.
In His presence,
Within His embrace,
Is where I want to be always and forever.

It is love...

It is love that allows my once dead heart to beat with life.

It is love that allows orphaned children to dance.

It is love that heals the hurting.

It is love that trades sorrow for joy.

It is love that brings peace to the afflicted.

It is love that has saved my soul.

In Christ alone, do I hope.

Living Hope

This summer my understanding of Hope grew as I visited Living Hope Children's Home in Uganda. Those precious children taught me a lot about Hope and I am filled with inspiration to share such light with those who dwell within darker shadows than I. And that, my friends, is exactly why I must go back.

Hope in the Shadow of a Storm

If I have learned anything this past year, it is that Hope is born in the midst of a storm. I used to never really understand the scripture that said, "...we rejoice in our suffering, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope..." (Romans 5:3, 4), but I think I am finally beginning to see. This last year I have been through one tumultuous storm, but the love that the Father has poured into my heart is unlike anything on this side of Heaven. The idea of hope has always alluded me, but although the storm wages on, I am beginning to taste the sweetness of the love that my Savior has lavished upon me, and for the first time in my life...hope is awakening within my soul.

Tabitha

Allow me to introduce you to Tabitha, a beautiful eleven-year old girl who has touched my heart in a unique way. Even at her young age she desires to grow spiritually and hungers to know God's Word. I hope this little story gives you a glimpse into her beautiful heart.
While my team and I were at Living Hope, we did devotions with the kids each night. When we first arrived at the Home each day, Tabitha always offered to carry our team leader's bag inside. Come to find out, Tabitha carried the team leader's bag in each day because she knew that the notes for devotions were inside that bag. Tabitha had been copying the Bible verses from the devotion notes into her own notebook, for she had no Bible of her own. Tabitha's inner beauty and obvious hunger for God's Word never ceases to inspire me. I am excited to say that during this upcoming trip we will be bringing Bibles for each of the children at the home.